Los Angeles Anger Management Psychotherapy for Satisfying Relationships
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"I have been harboring anger at my parents for years. Over the last year my fury gushed out every time I was near them. They didn't feel my anger was justified so we just battled endlessly. Things got so bad that the relationship between me and my parents was on the line. That's when I went to therapy with Dr. Raymond. She helped me unearth the source of injustice and hurt that led me to be so angry. I realized that it blocked me from finding a partner and getting on with my life. I saw how my anger made me stuck and was threatening to ruin things between me and my parents, the most important people in my life. As soon as I discovered the reason for the anger I felt myself released from a trap. Once my anger was explained and validated in therapy, it just disappeared overnight. I couldn't believe it! I feel so much lighter, and freer. I have a better relationship with my parents and have room to look for a partner in life. Thirty-nine year female working in a family owned business. |
Anger ventilated often hurries towards forgiveness; anger concealed often hardens into revenge.
Do you get mad when people don't do things they way they are supposed to?
Are you angry that you take enormous trouble to do the right thing the right way at the right time, but friends, family and colleagues just aren't bothered?
Do you get angry that not only do people in your life not seem to want to do right by you, but they don't appreciate your efforts to do right by them?
Do you feel angry that your sense of responsibility in relationships doesn't pay off?
Are you seething with anger and the need to blame when you are let down?
Are you bursting with outrage at the unfairness of doing most of the work in your relationships?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be sabotaging your chances of having satisfying relationships – both personally and professionally.
Intense, uncontrolled emotions muddy your communication skills, drowning out your message, and making those around you tune out. Whether you give someone the cold shoulder, or are provoked into an outburst, you create tension and distance in your relationship. The very opposite of what you want and need.
Anger uses up a lot of energy and is exhausting to carry around, leading to stress overload, which translates into over eating, weight gain and other physical ailments. Gastric upsets such as irritable bowel syndrome, colitis, bloating, constipation and diarrhea, skin breakouts and constant sore throats, chronic fatigue, migraines, sciatica, neck, shoulder and back pain are common side effects of anger.
I will help you
1. Channel your anger in appropriate directions so that your energy is used productively rather than taking it out on yourself, others or work situations that may be harmful in the long run.
2. Craft your messages so that your feelings are expressed in a way that can be heard and responded to.
3. Teach you how to listen for the intent of others so that you don't flare up due to a misunderstanding that touches a sore spot.
4. Teach you how to share your reactions in healthy ways when you feel let down, ignored, thwarted or unfairly treated.
5. Manage your disappointments so that you don’t anesthetize difficult feelings with pills, food, alcohol or drugs.
6. Steer your energy towards being assertive without being aggressive so that you feel confident without needing to be vindictive, take revenge or punish with silence.
7. Learn how to interpret the actions of others in ways so that you don't feel under threat and use anger as a way of defending yourself unsuccessfully. Take the conflict quiz.
8. Learn how to ask for what you want from others up front so you aren't going around in a circle of hope and disappointment which triggers anger.
9. Make more room for loving, sensitive and respectful connections when anger isn't your default position for showing your unhappiness and distress.
10. Figure out the triggers of your anger so that you can understand the reasons for your hot buttons and treat yourself with compassion.
Origins of Anger and It's purpose, plus how to use it to your advantage – podcast with Dr. Raymond as the anger expert
Frustrated that nothing has worked?
You probably wonder if it is worth your while to keep trying.
After all, you usually end up doing most of the giving and get little in return.
But I have already tried everything!
You’ve read the books and articles, followed the lessons on the CD’s, and attended relationship workshops. You've done the positive affirmations and the meditations.
You are frustrated and despairing that despite all the time, money and energy you have spent nothing has helped you find and keep the relationship you long for.
Maybe you use alcohol, pills, drugs or sex to get rid of those awful feelings that won't go away.
These short term measures don’t last. You feel defeated. The vicious cycle of anger and disappointment controls your life.
No matter how disappointed and bitter you are, there is an ache that just won’t go away.
You are dying to be wanted, respected, valued and important to a partner.
Learning how to do relationships right is most effective when you practice and get feedback from a trained and skilled professional who will be honest, help you see your blind spots, show you what you may be thinking and doing that gets in your way, and help you understand the costs and consequences of how you create and behave in relationships.
Conquer your anger when your efforts to make your relationships work get rebuffed. It's all in my new book, Now You Want Me, Now You Don't! Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship.
Call Dr. Jeanette at 310.985.2491 and jump start your relationship success quotient
Experiences Of Working With Dr. Raymond
Self-employed business woman's successful experience with Dr. Raymond:
"My emotions used to feel like a tangled ball of yarn. Working with Dr. Raymond has helped me unravel them and see why I got so hurt and angry with family members. Now I have time to think about how to react. I feel less manipulated and I am less angry as a result.I enjoy my relationships so much more than I ever thought possible."
Thirty-five year old Rory hated the idea of therapy. He wanted to take care of things himself. He was frustrated and skeptical about working with me. Here is his experience:
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"Before working with Dr. Raymond I used to be a monster lashing out with a bull whip. I have learned about my emotions – what I’m feeling and why I feel it. There is less chaos in my head. I don’t feel like a stranger in my own skin any more. When I get angry and resentful I don’t hold it in, charge it up and discharge my rage with my bull whip. The bull whip is now a dish towel." |
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"Life is so much better because I get a better response from people." |
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Forty year old Jenny was constantly angry that her marriage wasn’t working the way she wanted. She had trouble sleeping and was exhausted trying to figure out what her husband wanted. Here is her experience after working with me on anger management.
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" I used to put up a brick wall so that other people couldn't get near me. I didn't want to show my anger, hurt or sadness. After working with Dr. Raymond I found the wall turned into a transparent gel. It still protected me but I could see what was outside and decide whether it was okay to let in in or out. I have discovered that without really trying I am letting people in and it feels okay. They are actually nicer than I thought. I realize I was keeping a lot of good stuff out just to make sure nothing scary got in." |
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Use Your Anger Productively
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audio tips on managing conflict
CALL 310. 985. 2491
AND GET STARTED ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS
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Follow @drjeanette |
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